we breathe and live

Oh wow.
Looking back at the past few entries that I actually bothered to post, I realize that I've changed quite a bit.
I've gotten more...mellow I think?
I don't know.
More serene and stuff maybe.
Less concerned with my social situation.
I'm still somewhat concerned but there's a come-what-may mixed with life-is-life feeling there.

Of course, this depend on my mood that day but the general feel is of carelessness.

I think about more things now.
Like beauty.
I see it everywhere. Even in cracked walkways and tired smiles and simple hand movements. I see it everywhere.
Like music.
I feel it more than understand it. The words don't matter. It's the beat, the rhythm, the heart, the voice that I feel. It's the soaring feeling, the soothing feeling, the anxiety and on and on.

Why do we all change so much in short spans of time?
 

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Moderate
Schizoid:	Very High
Schizotypal:	Very High
Antisocial:	Moderate
Borderline:	Moderate
Histrionic:	Moderate
Narcissistic:	Moderate
Avoidant:	High
Dependent:	Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Moderate
-- Personality Disorder Test -- -- Personality Disorder Information --

http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv?stat=1

'Sup y'all

Ok, so I've just finished a project for history and am now free to post an entry!!
So much has happened!
I'll start with an incident at the mall.

Ok, so my sister and I were looking at shoes. It was a sale.
We were just quietly searching for my shoe size when suddenly, this lady across us, pushed a shoe in our faces and said, "CAN YOU GET MY SHOE SIZE?"(don't remember if she said please, XD)
We were wearing matching shrugs(different colour though).
DOES THAT MAKE US SALESPEOPLE OR SOMETHING?!
WE WEREN'T EVEN WEARING THOSE LANGYARD OR WHATEVER IT'S CALLED AS IDENTIFICATION!
!@$!#%^$%&*(*&^%$#%$^%#$#!#!@$%^&%&$#@%$#@^#
My sister just gave a shocked look and I laughed, mainly because I didn't want to cause a commotion.
Luckily, my sister had the same idea and politely informed her that we were not salespeople.

She later commented that she wanted to slap the *****.

ANYWAY, moving on.

We had an exchange program and the Marryatvillians came over to SG!(we, as in the drama club)
So they were all 15-16 years old and tall/physically-matured.
There were cute guys but no one that I took an interest in.
So we rehearshed for a collaborative show.
I  helped out with the lights!
Blahblablah.
And I don't feel like like writing more.

Ok ta darhs!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Miyavi/MYV's new band is officially debuting tomorrow.
As S.K.I.N..
*squeal*

I can't wait.
He is so awesome and the other members are also big.
They say that S.K.I.N. is a super j-rock band.

Gackt=former Malice Mizer
Sugizo=former Luna Sea
Yoshiki=former X Japan and Globe
Miyavi=former Due le Quartz

GAH!!!
I have to get Miyavi's albums. All of them.Soon.

Miyavi is the sex. ;]

Talk more next time.
Tata!

But I was wrong.

****, everything back then was so much fun when compared to now.
Even though I kinda regret doing some of the things I did.
At least I enjoyed myself.

I know I have nothing to complain about.
I'm one of the lucky people who have great lives.
But it all boils down to the fact that I waste my time on the laptop(internet).
No social life.
Nada, zilch, zero.
Someone please tell me that this is normal.

MY PERSONALITY IS NOT ATTRACTING FRIENDS WHO ARE WORTH IT.
*my current bestie in another school not included*

I  want to know what all you *******  have been saying about me behind my back.
Both good and bad.
I guess I'm kinda paranoid.
But you would be too if you found out that there was this dude who told his friends that  he was your boyfie.
When his not.
Or you found out that people whom you've never met before think you're arrogant.
Or that your friends, people whom you thought were your close friends, are scared of you.
Even your current bestie used to be scared of you too.

I NEED MORE HOLIDAY DAYS.

I think my brain is damn rusty by now.
And school is tomorrow.
And I haven't finished my homework.

!$@!%$#^&*&*$%#%!$%$#$&I^€%^#$€#%#$#%#%€$$$#^%$&^%$^^#!%!

I just realized that I'll never fit in with my school.
Maybe it was denial but I thought that things were getting better.

I started hanging out with this bunch of people.
We talked. Shared some laughs.
But I guess when push comes to shove, I can't really get along with them.
The bunch of people and the people in my school.
Maybe Mini is ok.
I seem to be most relaxed around her as compared to the others.

*takes deep breath*

GAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 I feel like I failed at being a socially-acceptable human.
Bleh.
What I'm trying to say is I can't seem to be fully accepted in school. And that I lack social skills.
Which kinda sucks but I'll deal with it.
Besides, I'm leaving SG soon anyway.

Ah, I can't wait to get out of SG.
Well, my school more like it when I think about it.
I love my country just fine.
I just hate school.

There, I said it.
I hate school.
H-A-T-E.
Hate.

I still don't feel any better.
Whoever said that writing(or typing in this case) down your feelings will make you feel better obviously doesn't know how wrong that statement is.

Was surfing LiveJournal and found a link.
It's the seme/uke test thingy.
Guess which I was.
.
.
.
.
I was the Sadistic Seme!
BWAHUAHUAHUAHUAHUAHUAHUAHUA
I WOULD NEVER HAVE THOUGHT THAT I'D BE A SADISTIC CHARACTER!
IT'S F****** FUNNY!

Seriously, I thought I'd be Oppurtunist Seme or something like that.

Feh. Shows just how much(or little, should I say) I know myself.

Carpe Diem!
Seize the moment!

ps:was that the correct translation?

Gah!!!!!

I hate hypocrites who are obvious.
I mean, everyone's a hypocrite but to blatantly be one?

@!$#!@$#$$%&$%$#@#&%$#!!!!!!!

Ok. I'm not going to give details but...GAH!!!!!

When I wish upon you,
The stars shine too bright,
Dusting the deep blue sky,
And the moon lights up
The road in it's own way
And the world seems just right.
Oh, how I wish you were,
To see this with me.
But you are, aren't you?
With every second passing by,
I feel your prescence near me,
Up in the sky,
Existing as one of the stars
When I wish upon you

When I wish upon you,
Nobody seems to notice me
And time stops for a second,
Leaving me invincible,
Just for that one second.
I scream to the sky,
The heavens,
And the world
Even though I know you can hear me
Wherever you are
I just want to let you know
That even though I still cry
I am able to exist here
And watch our memories
Slowly fade in my mind
When I wish upon you

Haha.
Just had to do that.


Anyway, introintro.

I'm a random person.
My sister told me that I'm weird. I believe what she meant was unique :]]].
I sometimes feel depressed or detached from the world for no reason.
Concidentally, most of the time I feel that way in school. XD

Music is life and without it, I believe life will be less meaningful and colourful.
Art, too.

I think that someone who says life is unfair is idiotic.
There is no such thing as an unfair life.
I'm sorry but I think it would be better to replace unfair with less fortunate.

My mind is a little fucked-up. Just a little.
So if you think that this post was a waste of space, I apologize.